How's Your Heart?

A dear friend asked me last week: How’s your heart? A beautiful, hard, and somewhat loaded question these days. I’m sure many of us can relate to a wide-range of emotions happening during what has now been over a month (AKA 10 years) of social distancing, shelter-in-place, and stay-at-home orders around the world. 

I can’t lie, the first few weeks of quarantine actually felt like a welcome break. Projects that had been put off for years were finally seeing the light of day. I relocated from Los Angeles to our place in Joshua Tree and took some needed time in nature hiking empty mountains. Conversations with family and friends were deeply meaningful and plentiful. While I still experienced waves of sadness about the state of the world, missed my family, and experienced very real anxiety about losing much of my income overnight, it felt like a much-needed retreat from the busyness of everyday life—an opportunity to slow down and breathe for a bit.

Enter last week (week 3ish/ AKA year 7ish) … order me up some panic with a side of fear, deep grief, and sadness. I found myself incessantly scrolling Twitter and reading the news at 3 a.m.—the climbing number of cases and deaths, the fear tactics and finger pointing, the “no end in sight.” What initially felt like a needed healing retreat inward had me feeling completely isolated, scared, and stuck in the middle of a lonely desert. At the same time, I had immense gratitude for how lucky I was to even be able to stay at home, to have shelter, food (wine), a partner and dog to spend my time with, a yoga community that held me accountable for showing up, and a family that made me laugh daily, if only through a device.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s OK if getting out of bed feels hard, it’s OK if you’re experiencing every emotion in the book, it’s OK to not know what’s next, it’s OK to bawl your eyes out to Andrea Boccelli, it’s OK to not be OK and it’s also OK to be OK. There is no one right way to feel. Allow it all.

I’ve been rooting in the following daily practices to help me feel grounded.

Morning Routine

Having a morning routine and something to show up to every day while holding myself accountable has been really important. My morning routine looks like this: wake-up (drag myself out of bed) at dawn and watch the desert sunrise with my dog, make a cup of strong black coffee, write (stream of consciousness or logging my dreams), pray, and sit for meditation. If you’re looking for some guided meditation practices, I’ve been loving Tara Brach’s talks and meditations lately. They are free on Spotify.

Gratitude Practice

We hear this one a lot, and while it may seem cliche or too easy, expressing thanks may be one of the simplest ways to feel better, according to hundreds of scientific studies on gratitude. You could write a thank you letter to a friend or loved one, thank someone mentally in meditation, or keep a daily gratitude journal. It may be helpful to find a gratitude buddy to share something you are grateful for each day as a way to hold each other accountable. Try and be as specific as possible. For example, instead of “I am thankful for my dog,” try, “I am grateful for the kiss on the nose from my dog first thing in the morning.”

Movement With Intention

Movement is medicine. Movement with intention is magic. In yoga we set an intention or Sankalpa, at the start of our practice to call in a greater purpose and tap into the heart’s deepest desire.  If you can, try to move your body at least once a day, whether it be yoga, taking a walk in nature, or another activity. Set an intention for whatever practice you chose. It may be something like, “today, I want to cultivate more presence or peace.” You can find most of your favorite teachers streaming online, which has allowed the unique opportunity to practice with people all over the world.

And if none of this happens, that’s OK too.

Here we are approaching week 5 (AKA Year 10), and I ask you the same question: How is your heart today, friend? Allow space for it all.